At the beginning of this semester, I was excited, yet nervous about what this course had to offer. Of all the primary subjects, English was my favorite and strongest one. In this class, I was interested to see the different types of assignments I would receive at a college level. Since this was my first semester at BCC, I was a bit nervous about taking this course. I’ve always been a great writer in high school, yet I knew the expectations would be different, and I was a little afraid that I wouldn’t be able to meet the criteria. Reflecting now, I started this class with little-to-no experience on properly researching, citating sources, or peer reviewing. After taking this course in each type of assignment, peer reviewing, and modifying my rough drafts for the finals, I have grown and gotten into the swing of using these skills both inside and outside of this classroom.
In my memoir, I chose to write about a moment between my Nana and I before she passed away. At first, I believed I wanted to write about my father, who passed away three years ago, but every time I talked about this piece to my mother, the event with Nana kept popping up in my head. Writing this over the course of the rough draft process became important to me, since it brought back a memory I thought I forgot. There were times when I had to rewrite certain paragraphs of the story since it was not detailed enough or I cried from realizing I knew the moments clearly, they were just buried in my mind. Finishing the final draft of it made me realize that this specific assignment became a new way of coping with Nana’s passing. I made sure to put all my hard work into this piece to be as polished as possible for not only myself to look back at it one day, but for others to see how I felt and thought of being with her for the last time.
I started to brainstorm by writing down the main conversation we had in the hospital room, particularly the one when I gave her the news that I won a competition and would be moving onto nationals in Dallas, Texas. I also added in a few key physical features I could remember, such as seeing Nana through the window commenting on the referees in the Boston Bruins game on the TV and her smile when I told the big news of my victory. I made sure to jot down every piece of information, detailed or not, so that I could figure out how to introduce the memory in the assignment.
Typically, when I draft a detailed piece like this one it usually takes me one sitting to write and revise each part. I like to listen to soft music and write down whatever comes into my mind. I try to imagine the moment I’m in to see if I remember any familiar details to help me. Normally after a few minutes, my brain goes into focus mode and that’s when the real magic begins. Within an hour, I produce a few paragraphs before finally shutting off the song, taking a break, and coming back to reread each one. If I ever get stuck on a sentence that doesn’t make sense, I reread it out loud and ask myself what I meant to write. Eventually, I solve the problem in five to ten minutes and proceed onto the next part.
Throughout the memoir, I tried my hardest to focus on the details and scenery in the hospital room since I knew that would be the most important part for the reader, the part of trying to imagine the hospital room I was in, so they understood the memory of me spending the last time with Nana before she passed away. There were parts of the scenes where I had to rewrite for the audience to understand, but overall, I felt the message got across the board. When the suggestions from Professor Pappas came in, I made a couple of changes that she gave. One of them asked for me to explain a particular moment of me not wanting to share an idea with the audience, while the rest were mostly wording suggestions.
I ended up using one of the wording suggestions she gave me, specifically the one about “Commencing the chat with Nana”. After I went back to the memoir and reread it, I realized that it sounded weird. With the rest of the suggestions, I went through each part she gave a comment on, retyped the part, read it out loud, and asked myself if it needed revision. If it did, I changed it & kept it, and if not, I left it.
This specific assignment was my favorite. I loved how this allowed me to revisit a memory that I thought was gone from my mind and retell it in a more vivid and heartwarming way. Sure, there were parts that were extremely detailed more than others, but at the end of the day, I got to tell the world a moment that I enjoyed, and in my mind, that’s what matters the most.
The second essay, Raising an Adolescent – A Glimpse, is a study summary of Ben Fulton’s To Raise an Adolescent. In the piece, I took notes, key points, and quotes from the story, to which I organized then in an outlined essay. The feedback I received from both my peers and professor in my rough draft allowed me to learn how to properly cite, write, and reflect on the story to connect it with the audience. This specific essay highlights my growth in learning how to blend in a summary of a story while also blending it in with my own analysis of it.
The third essay, Rent or No Rent? reflects on the choice of whether parents/guardians should start charging rent to their 18-year-old children. I started by analyzing and checking out various sources linking to the topic, and choosing the ones I believed helped my side. Drafting this piece was difficult, since writing arguments isn’t my greatest strength, but with feedback, I felt a bit more confident on how it turned out. Parts of the piece highlight my growth in being able to explain more in detail on certain arguments in helps of using a quote.
The Visiting Hour
It was five o’clock when I looked outside the window.
The sun had started to set, forming the sky with hues of bright orange, light and dark yellows, hot and light pinks, purples, and slight shades of dark blue, all mixed together. Houses and buildings nearby were overshadowed, making them only silhouetted shapes, while cars passing by were about the size of ants. Seeing this made me feel free, almost as if I could jump outside and fly high where no one could reach me.
The room behind me was filled with chaos. Directly across the long white windowsill I sat on, was my 63-year-old Nana sitting upright in a stiff, hospital bed. On the left side of her appeared my younger brother, Noah, watching the Boston Bruins play through a small, TV mounted on the wall in front of the bed, and on the right featured my Aunt Kim, sternly talking to Nana with concern regarding the consequences she had to face based on the results of a decision she made. Towards the front of the room —near the door —showed my mother, Nana’s brother and sister-in-law, two long-distance cousins from North Carolina, and her aunt from Mississippi, all trying to talk at once, attempting to persuade Nana to take back her decision.
Looking at her more closely, Nana seemed sick, pale, and dull; life being sucked out by the minute. Her once shiny short light brown hair peered flat and mute under the light above, her eyes filled with pain and determination. I remember times back when both of us were youthful, the times when she attended my ballet recitals and drama plays or slept the night at her apartment just because I missed her. She wanted to leave the world for being cruel, but deep down in my heart I yearned for the decision to be taken back, because it would be the last time seeing and being with her.
My thoughts quickly diminished when I looked over to see my mother asking Nana, “Viv, do you want alone time with each of the kids before you go?”
Nana nodded.
“Alright. Which grandchild would you like to spend time with first?”
“Olivia” she mouthed.
Next thing I knew, everyone besides Nana and I were scurrying out of the room. In that moment, it felt unreal. Normally when she and I were inside the same room, someone else would be in there also. Now, we were in a musty hospital room, continuing to watch the Boston Bruins beat the Pittsburgh Penguins, with a score of 4-2. Before that moment, I hadn’t even watched the team or league since the previous year.
I looked back out through the window. By now, the world was starting to become dark navy blue, almost pitch black. The only bright lights anyone could see naturally and clearly included luminous and mellow house lights, bright headlights of cars driving through the streets, and radiant lights shown within the hospital room behind me. A few of the lights in the space were intense that I saw my reflection, every feature and movement I made, through the glass. Thankfully, I could notice Nana’s movements and lips moving. I turned around to see what she was trying to say. After a few minutes of carefully reading and translating her words, it turns out she was silently commenting on a call one of the referees made. This wasn’t the first time she would try and yell at the TV as though either the audience or the spectators could hear her opinion, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. I became bored with having to entertain myself from looking at the hockey game, then to the window, then back at the game, so I tried making small talk, even if it meant I had to conversate the whole time.
Beginning the conversation, I spoke out, “Nana, do you remember that speech and technology competition I did last weekend? You know, the one where I traveled to Framingham with school and may move onto nationals?”
Nana smiled cheerfully, nodding.
“Well, I placed in both competitions, and I will be competing in Dallas, Texas in May.”
She smiled even bigger, her medium eyes becoming glassy, tears forming, and verbalizing to me, “Your father would be so proud of you.”
At that point, I started crying myself. A feeling of accomplishment swept over me, and not due to winning the competitions, but for the reassurance of being able to tell Nana the news of how I won, when I won, and the stories following my successions before she was gone. In that same moment, Aunt Kim came into the room, letting me know the rest of my family – Mom, Noah, and my younger sister, Lilah – were heading to the cafeteria for dinner. I nodded, and looked back at the Bruins game, score of 6-3 now, while Kim sat down on the old wooden chair beside Nana and started discussing something I did not feel like overhearing.
Simultaneously, Nana poked my right arm, getting my attention, and mouthed, “You’re competing in Texas, right?” I couldn’t understand the words she tried to communicate, so I looked at Kim, who thankfully knew how to lip read and was previously discussing with Nana on my winnings. Once Kim translated, I nodded to Nana and clarified, “Yes. I leave for Texas the week of May 3-8th.”
Nana nodded, turned back to Kim, and verbalized sentences I couldn’t understand. Eventually, ten minutes went by, when Noah and my mother appeared at the entrance door, indicating my time with Nana was up. Before leaving, I hugged and kissed her, leading my way out of the funky room, and into the larger, flower-scented waiting room.
It was ten o’clock when I got home. The moment I stepped foot in the house, my mother received a phone call from Kim. After a few minutes, mom sat us down on our medium-sized brown couch and gave us the news of Nana passing away. Instantly, Noah and I began to cry, him from Nana being one of his best friends, and I because it was the first time conversating with her alone. I knew life wouldn’t be easy without her being gone, but at the same time I knew she was always going to be with me.
Raising An Adolescent – A Glimpse
The article Why Raising an Adolescent Is About Looking Past Your Child touches on the topic of parents needing to connect with their teenager to understand how their emotions and habits work. Coming from a teenage perspective, reading this article made me realize the author, Ben Fulton, describes adolescents perfectly. I related to one main illustration he explains on how a bedroom door is the protecting of a “castle door” or a teenager’s room and that the “castle door” itself is rarely opened (Fulton). There are times when I am guilty of staying in my bedroom for hours, whether it’s doing homework, watching TV, sleeping, or taking time for myself. In addition to the article given, I researched other ones related to the topic and found a piece from the National Library of Medicine titled Familism and Psychological Health: The Intervening Role of Closeness and Social Support. Close to the article by Fulton, the National Library of Medicine’s article talks about the importance of creating and maintaining a close family relationship to better improve health physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Reading to this made me realize how important it is to be in a family that will support, love, and listen to you through all points in life.
The introduction to Why Raising an Adolescent Is About Looking Past Your Child begins with a view of Gerhard Richter’s paintingBetty. Through the remaining couple paragraphs, Fulton gives the origins of Richter’s canvas, the shocks the world gained from seeing it, and how other artists have used similar tricks and tactics to convey similar messages. Reading these paragraphs gave me two points to think about. One is the message behind Richter’s painting, which is “not to contemplate or admire what his child looks like, but what she is looks at or toward.” (Fulton 1). Reading and contemplating the message made me realize that I see the painting but also do not see it at the same time, since I’m too busy trying to figure out who Betty truly is, how old she looks based on her clothing provided, and what emotions she could have been showing when she was being painted, instead of trying to figure out what exactly she is looking at. The second main point I gathered was that all the paintings mentioned in the article have a theme of multiple perspectives. I noticed that within the given images, like Betty, the focus of it is on one person, and that as a viewer, each artist asks us to image the consciousness of their subjects without ever seeing their faces, making it harder to create and emphasize.
Towards the middle of the article, Fulton explains to the readers how Betty gives parents a tool for understanding their children. He begins by stating that as a teenager gets older, they would prefer more privacy, rather than their parents posting about them. The main message I took from Fulton’s explanations in the central section, is that in order for an adolescent to grow and develop their own identity and personality, the parent needs to realize their first lessons are the roles and responsibilities they have change over time, and depending how the teen is raised based on those the adolescent can either have the outcome of a respectful good-moral teen, or a disrespectful bad-moral one. Fulton also makes a point that parents should take into consideration, that to understand how their teens’ years will be, they need to remember their own adolescence and think how their teens are boring compared to how they grew up in their younger years. I personally believe this message needs to be taught in every adult who has teenagers, since it can be challenging at times trying to communicate with them on certain topics and arguments that they sometimes only have one to two perspectives on.
In addition, Fulton speaks on the topic of social media, how the use of it creates anxiety and pain for teenagers in today’s generation, giving a message to parents that it may be difficult for parents to see their children want to spend more time online than in person currently, but eventually they will grow out of it. As a teenager, I can agree with this main point. At times I can feel guilty on scrolling through social media (especially when I don’t feel like doing something), but now that I have the responsibility of being a young adult, I’ve realized staying online isn’t the best way to cope with boredom or consume my free time, but instead to hang out more with family, friends, dogs, and even neighbors. I personally have done this more recently, and it feels good to get to know someone and have small talk on how they have been. Either way, adolescents will grow out of their “social media” phase.
The end of the article explains how a relationship between a parent and teen can meditate. I took away two key messages in the last few paragraphs. One is that adults (if you keep egging them on), will admit that life will give you lessons with more force, and that as a teenager, you must learn those said lessons by experience and not all by advice. The second one is raising an adolescent as a parent means having to travel back in time mentally to give a sense of empathy, in addition to possibly giving those memory-lessons to the adolescent. (Fulton).
To officially end off the piece, Fulton mentions Richter’s Betty painting, explaining how the painting itself hints broadly about how the best way to see any person, not just teenagers, is to figure out and try to see what they are seeing. If anyone gives you looks, says anything that may question your thinking, or is even outright ignoring you, try to put yourself in their shoes, and think about where they are coming from. He ends off saying that teenagers and adolescents are the future. I took that as the main message throughout the whole piece, but now that he ties it to the ending, the whole article started to make sense in my head. I think this piece Fulton wrote is quite helpful and can help guide parents to learn more about their adolescents.
Works Cited:
Campos, Belinda et al. “Familism and Psychological Health: The Intervening Role of Closeness and Social Support.” Cultural Diversity & Ethnic Minority Psychology vol. no. 20,2 2014: 191-201. doi:10.1037/a0034094
Fulton, Ben. “Why Raising an Adolescent Is About Looking Past Your Child -Common Reader, 6 Nov. 2024, commonreader.wustl.edu/c/why-raising-an-adolescent-is-about-looking-past-your-child/. Accessed 1 Mar. 2025.
Rent or No Rent?
There are various discussions of rules and standards for new adults to follow. A few key concepts include personal growth, relationships, community engagement and work environments. One key question commonly asked and talked about within households is the question of, “Should an 18-year-old have to pay rent within their own home?”. Some people would say yes, explaining how young adults pay their share teaches them to be responsible and money efficient for when they start to invest in bigger purchases, while others mention stronger family bonding through a universal struggle. Though, charging rent can have negative effects. Mental and emotional health overtime may start to decline, through constantly living in the state of debt of their own family, while others may still be grasping at the new concept of having to pay their way. Parents should not charge rent to their 18-year-olds because they’re starting with college or career, they may still need to learn money management skills, and it may strain family relationships.
Determining when their birthday is, the 18-year-old could still be attending high school. In both junior and senior year, high schoolers start scouting and applying for colleges, universities, jobs to start a career, or the military. Once they are committed for any of the four, the question of transportation is asked. Is the student going to live on campus? Are they going to commute every day? These specific factors determine on whether an 18-year-old will be living at home, and the remaining question of, “Should I charge rent to my child?”. In certain households that may sound like a good idea, but in the long run, there are problems. For one, the teenagers already must pay to commute to their upcoming courses. Within the U.S. gas prices have surged to a six-month high, with drivers, paying around $3.60 per gallon (Bushard). This can become a situation later in the semesters, especially if the traveling distance from a teen’s home to school is about an hour or so away. It will become a problem, because eventually money for gas will be spent and used more to the point where the student may not have enough money to pay for rent.
In a few classes and outside lessons, most teenagers are taught the concept of money. Yet, there are still a few that don’t understand the idea. Through research by Pew Research Center, there is a result of 45% of fewer than half of young adults from ages 18-34 saying they’re completely financially independent from their parents. On the other hand, 75% of the age group claim they’re not financially independent. When asked about the outcome, parents were optimistic about agreeing with their children (Minkin, Parker, Horowitz, and Aragão). Teaching a teenager the concept of money is a great idea, especially if they were not taught it at a young age, however trying to teach that in the form of charging rent is not the best idea. The chances of the teens knowing how to manage and budget money for groceries, bills, or utilities are low. Since they don’t know the tips and tricks of how to save money on certain items, they are more likely to spend on the most expensive thing in the market, and with bills, they may not know how to pay them.
If there is one important relationship a teenager can have, it’s the one with their family. As a teen grows older, the bond between their siblings, parents, and other relatives strengthens. However, if a parent decides to start charging their child rent, that relationship could start to strain or eventually weaken over time. This is due to the teen seeing their parents more as landlords rather than their own guardian. Through another research study from Pew Research Center, there is a 48% of teenagers that say they know their parent extremely well, while 37% somewhat do, and 15% don’t know them at all. Additionally, 40% of teenagers say they don’t rely on their parents at all for any type of advice, bonding, etc. (Minkin, Parker, Horowitz, and Aragão). The cause behind this could be the possibility of the teenager feeling weird as being a tenant of their parents. Over time, if the relationship between a parent and child starts to strain, legal issues could start to form.
In many scenarios, parents and guardians will argue how charging rent to their 18-year-old rent will give them independence for the future. While that may be true, most of the time new adults are still learning about the concept of being dependent on themselves through working a job or attending college. Teenagers must learn on getting up on time for classes, balancing personal and school life, and keeping up with their grades, while at a job, they will have to learn to work with others, and manage their specific position. Although independence may not be all money related, they are still learning how to independently take care of themselves, which will eventually transition over to when they start to receive and manage money.
At some point there comes a time when adult children should start to pay for their own share. Parents should start to cut the cord when their child either has a full-time job, or when they turn twenty-one, which is also the age of college students graduate. This allows a teen to start researching jobs into either their major or interest and discuss a plan with their parents on what they can do to aid with the bills and utilities.
Works Cited:
Aragão, Rachel Minkin, Kim Parker, Juliana Menasce Horowitz and Carolina. “Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood.” Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project, 25 Jan. 2024, www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/01/25/parents-young-adult-children-and-the-transition-to-adulthood/.
Bushard, Brian. “Gas Prices Surge to Six-Month High at $3.60: Here’s Where Prices Are Highest, and Why They Could Keep Climbing.” Forbes, 8 Apr. 2024, www.forbes.com/sites/brianbushard/2024/04/08/gas-prices-surge-to-six-month-high-at-360-heres-where-prices-are-highest-and-why-they-could-keep-climbing
